Wrestler Finds The Strength To Win

It was the gold medal match in wrestling. It is narrowed down to the Russian or the American for the gold medal.

Before the final match, the American wrestler’s trainer came to him and said, “Now don’t forget all the research we’ve done on this Russian. He’s never lost a match because of this “pretzel” hold he has. Whatever you do, don’t let him get you in this hold! If he does, you’re finished!”

The wrestler nodded in agreement. Now, to the match.

The American and the Russian circled each other several times looking for an opening. All of a sudden the Russian lunged forward, grabbing the American and wrapped him up in the dreaded pretzel hold! A sigh of disappointment went up from the crowd, and the trainer buried his face in his hands, for he knew all was lost. He couldn’t watch the ending.

Suddenly there was a scream, a cheer from the crowd, and the trainer raised his eye just in time to see the Russian flying up in the air. The Russian’s back hit the mat with a thud, and the American collapsed on top of him, getting the pin and winning the match.

The trainer was astounded! When he finally got the American wrestler alone, he asks, “How did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever done it before!”

The wrestler answered, “Well, I was ready to give up when he got me in that hold, but at the last moment, I opened my eyes and saw this pair of balls right in front of my face.

“I thought I had nothing to lose, so with my last ounce of strength I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as hard as I could.

“You’d be amazed how strong you get when you bite your own balls!”

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Peeking At A Woman Through The Fence

Little Johnny, Billy and Tommy were walking home from school one warm spring day. As they were cutting through the alleys and backyards, they happened to look through a hole in the fence of one of the yards where a woman was sunbathing in the nude.

As they looked through the hole, Johnny suddenly started to scream, left his friends and took off running for home.

The next day, as the three boys came home again, they found the same hole in the fence and started to watch the woman. Again, after just a few minutes, Johnney started screaming and ran off quickly.

On the third day, the boys were peeping into the hole in the fence again after school, when Johnny turned around and started to run again. But this time, Bill and Tommy grabbed him and demanded to know what was wrong.

Johnny replied, “My mother told me that if I ever looked at a naked woman, I would turn to stone…

“And I started to feel a part of me getting awfully hard!!!”

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Counting On Your Fingers

The teacher asked little Gary, “What’s two and two?”. He counted 1-2-3-4 on his fingers and said, “Four?”

She said, “Yep, you’re right, but you counted on your fingers. Put your hands behind behind your back and tell me what’s three and three.”

He put his hands behind his back, fumbled around, and answered, “Six?”

She came back with, “Yep, that’s correct, but you’re still counting on your fingers. Put your hands in your pockets and tell me what’s five and five.”

He put his hands in his pockets, fumbled around, and replied, “Eleven?”

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What Do Pussies Look Like?

One guy said that pussies look like chewed up bubble gum. One guy said it looks like an upside down snail (yikes, who was HE dating and what is he doing looking under snails?).

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